


Over

by Vitaesterrat



Series: Recovery [1]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coping, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, seriously dont read this till you have played the game, sort of character study, they will be happy, trust me okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24821053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vitaesterrat/pseuds/Vitaesterrat
Summary: Following the end of The Last of Us Pt. 2. Therefore, it contains massive spoilers.The uncertain future is not so uncertain.Ellie needs to make amends and make a new path, and she sees only one that can help her.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: Recovery [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913143
Comments: 11
Kudos: 304





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so. I know this game has rubbed people the wrong way, I just thought to add this bit of ending flavor I suppose to maybe try and sweeten it? Sorry if grammar is bad I wrote this at 2 AM. If people want me to continue i just might I'm not sure, do let me know though.

It was a miserable walk.

Though a cool breeze had been faintly blowing through the trees, humidity hung in the air. The ground was soggy from a rain that had passed through the last night, making her trip more than once on herself. Thankfully, Her hand was nowhere near as numb as it was a day ago, instead not it throbbed with every step she took. It wasn’t going to be the longest walk to Jackson, so she knew that if it really got out of hand (unintentional pun) she could get help.

Not as though things weren’t already out of hand.

Dina had left and took J.J with her, something Ellie had hoped, had prayed, she wouldn’t do. She did anyway, and some part of her being understood why, but it didn’t lessen the pain. The pain. The never ending pain.

All of it... for nothing. Jesse, the fireflies... Joel.

Thinking of him twisted her gut and she had to swallow emotion in her throat as she vaulted over a downed tree. His face will forever be burned in her brain, so many mistakes were made since then... all for what? She didn’t kill Abby like Tommy wanted her too, she left her go with the boy. She couldn’t kill her. In those last moments, it destroyed everything she had housed for those months. Those seven long months.

A sniffle drew her from her thoughts as Ellie rubbed her nose. Tears formed in her eyes but she wiped those too. Admitting these new... “revelations” was hard. She knew it’d get harder if they didn’t keep surfacing so she kept thinking. That thinking would bring her some fucking peace she’d guess.

Night came and went. A nightmare of Joel woke her early, his corpse was on top of her and no matter how hard she pushed he wouldn’t budge. His screams echoed around her. she set out by sunrise.

By evening, she created a hill overlooking Jackson. It was still the same place as it was, and she could still point out his house if she squinted. Took another thirty to get down the hill and cross the field. Some guys at the gate recognized her after a minute, making a comment about her hair to which she just nodded and smiled too.

“She got her a week or two ago,” one of em had said, “wondered what happened to you.”

Dina. Oh god Dina. What the fuck am I gonna say?

Maria apparently had a fuckin' sixth sense whenever Ellie was going to do something stupid because she found her walking in town minutes after getting in.

“You’re alive.”

“I am.”

Her brow furrowed, staring at Ellie a moment and she held the gaze. She was waiting for a, “she’s not” line but it wasn’t going to come. How’d that would go over with her was uncertain, with Tommy it would be worse. She’s prepared for Tommy, barely for Dina, but not for Maria. The stern lecture was looking to be the chief reaction here. Ellie broke her gaze and attempted to move past her, only to have her arm be caught.

“What happened Ellie?”

She stiffened the arm and pulled away, “I let her go.”

Though not looking at her, she could sense Maria’s expression soften. She had gasped quietly as well. Ellie continued:

“Where’s Tommy?”

There was a pause, and after another beat Ellie turned around to face her again. Maria looked at her with an expression that could be read as surprise or horror. Ellie still awaited the answer, and by the time she shook her head and turned to leave, she was pulled into a hug.

No words were exchanged, but a sense of relief had gone through her Ellie could tell. Maria was warm, but none of that transferred to her. It felt half hallow, but her brain pushed through and worked to tell her it was anything but. Maria meant this. It wasn’t out of pity, it was something else. Something like Joel would do.

Maria pulled out and held her shoulders as she spoke, “I’ll deal with Tommy, Dina’s with Robin.”

“He should hear it from me since I fucked-“

“He’ll hear it from me. He needs to.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m his fucking wife, and the bastard loves me too much to argue anymore.” A hint of a smile played on Ellie’s lips, Maria must’ve noticed when she patted her shoulder, “I know you had your reasons Ellie, now go.”

Maria broke contact with one last pat on the shoulder. She hadn’t noticed her hand, Ellie had noticed, but not did she really. The throbbing had dulled when they had started talking. She thought to put a glove on it, but she’d look like fuckin’ Michael Jackson if she did. As if she could pull it off, some light part of her brain thought.

The sun had set now and the lights in the town were ablaze. People mingled outside the bar, mostly caught up in conversation or too busy to notice her. No appetite had struck her for a day or so now, which she privately thanked since dealing with an asshole was not on a list of priorities. Fucking bigot. Fuck him and his fucking bigot sandwiches... Jesse.

She clenched her fist and moved into the houses.

Kids ran through the street, screaming and laughing all the while. Parents monitored, herding them like caddle towards the center of town. Ellie must’ve had a storm cloud hang over her head because they gave her a wide berth when she passed by. Some whispered after she had passed, one apparently recognizing her after a bitter defeat in a snowball fight. They said a few other things Ellie couldn’t pick up on, but probably talking about where she’s been or what happened to her hand.

She ended up being right when there was a light tug on her shirt from behind. Turning, a small girl no older than 5 stood shyly. Ellie smiled softly, and cocked her head, “Yeah?”

“My friends dared me to...”

“To..?”

“It feels wrong to ask.”

Ellie realized and looked to her hand. The missing index and pinky covered in bandages, of course the kids would notice. Some old part of her burned at them asking the question, but the girl was too damn sweet. How to tell her in a non blunt but blunt way what had happened?

“I fought a bear,” this is the lie she was going with, “nasty one. Brown bear, with scars. And shaved.” Yes, it was.

“Wow... but, did you kill it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Abby walked away. She killed Joel and Jesse, hurt Tommy badly, and almost killed Dina in front of her. Why didn’t she kill Abby? She never answered the question because the faint plucks of guitar strings would stop her. She knew why, fuckin old timer still hounding her for an apology. Fuckin’ Joel...

Ellie forced a smile and knelt down, pulling her pack over her shoulder and rummaging through a moment. From the bottom, she pulled a small pin, it was a bear from a National Park gift shop and handed it to her.

“Couldn’t kill a celebrity.”

The kid stared in awe for a moment, which Ellie couldn’t help but smile at, “Collector?”

“Yes,” she was too excited that she forgot to say thank you running back to the group.

The parents watching the kids were watching the encounter, and when Ellie stood back up one mouthed a thank you. She nodded and continued the walk.

It took another ten or so minutes to find Robin’s, Jesse had moved into his old place and Ellie had only been to the parents once. Finding it was a test of memory, a concussed one but still. She found the place though, and remembered her first thought when she saw it for the first time. Looks like Joel’s. Bile rose in her throat but she swallowed it down. None of the lights were on except for the kitchen light, from the street she could see some movement. It looked like Robin but.. if it wasn’t. Dina.

One word ran through her mind: fuck fuck fuck.

It increased in value as she approached the door: shit fuck goddamn it fuck fuck fuck shit. She raised a hand to knock-

Then lowered it.

Faintly, she heard someone walk by the door and she stepped back a few paces.

Ellie, what’s the game plan?

“Hello,” Ellie said plainly.

No response.

The light was still on in the kitchen and she could hear no movement. It bled through the windows and casted clear light on the porch. They could see it was Ellie, if they were looking, but there was no one in the windows. Ellie grew nervous, but with that came determination. She looked at the steps of the porch and took a seat. Maybe waiting here till morning might be the smarter call, it was a rough place but-

The door opened. Ellie nearly fell over in surprise and turned- “Dina I’m-“

“Ellie,” it was Robin, “oh-you’re okay-“

Wearing a robe, the older woman stepped out and gave her a hearty hug. Ellie returned it lightly, she didn’t want to seem rude but... she was expecting someone else.

“I am.”

Her wrinkled eyes softened and smiled, “Good.”

“Is she-“

“Sleeping.”

“Oh.”

Could she wait till morning? Probably. It was Dina. She’d wait for all of time, she owed her so much and that wouldn’t pay a fraction of her dues.

Robin released her, “Do you want to come in?”

“No no it’s okay,” she took a step back, “I’ll crash somewhere really.”

“It’s no hassle.”

“I know but-“

“Ellie.”

The door had opened again. Hearing her name from Dina once again was jarring. Her hair stood on end, anxiety well in her stomach. A faint scream in her head and a pluck of guitar strings, she clenched her fist. Forcing those down again.

Dina’s hair was down, and it shimmered in the moonlight. She looked heavenly, divinely sent, wearing a tank top and some baggy sweats didn’t lessen it. Dina was so beautiful that if it were a much different scenario, Ellie would have just gone up and kissed her then. It was not that scenario. It was so much different.

Robin turned to face her, “I thought you were sleeping?”

Dina stared only at Ellie, bore into her skull, and she in turn held the gaze. Her expression? Ellie could only guess, it looked angry. She had assumed it could go this way, and she was right.

“I heard voices so I came to look,” her tone was even, but her eyes had become glossy.

Ellie felt her heart ache at the sight, “Dina, I am-“

“Please,” it came out desperate. Her heart ached further and now plunged into her stomach, “not tonight.”

Dina wiped her eyes now, Robin moving closer to her to wrap an arm around her. She looked to the wall, giving Ellie a chance to blink, before looking back, “Not tonight.”

Ellie nodded, “Yeah. Not tonight.”

Robin spoke up now, “You two should sleep.”

Ellie wasn’t tired, but that was Dina’s out, of course she’s lie for her, “Right.”

That was that. Robin shot Ellie a smile, and Dina just gave her one last look before turning to go inside with Robin. It was a look of caution, Ellie had seen it on Joel when he talked serious. It gave her some form of hope, and gave the impulse she craved,

“Family is more important.”

Dina froze in the doorway, Robin already inside, her body stuff. A moment passed before she turned her head, Ellie tried her luck again, “You were right.”

She didn’t respond. When Dina turned to look at her and showed her tears, it tore Ellie’s heart apart. All assumptions towards her reaction were gone.

“Not tonight... please, Ellie.”

“I’m sorry. When-whenever you’re ready.”

(Please let it be soon)

Dina’s eyes wandered down to it, her hand. Her eyes widened and looked to her again, concern mixed with anguish, “El-“

“Not tonight. I’m okay. Go.”

She wanted to press, Ellie knew her, but she didn’t. Dina gave her a smile, so weak and ridden with sadness, then turned and entered inside. The door shut softly and once again, Ellie was alone.

Her insides felt awful. And her emotions were getting to her. She released a shaky sigh and slid down the wall to the stairs. They weren’t comfortable. But they’d do.

Maria and Tommy were out of the question, she’d much rather freeze than deal with Tommy. He’s not scary in this case, more just complicated. He’d be angry and she’d try to explain but it wouldn’t make sense. She could deal. Dina threw her angry assumptions to the trash and replaced them with pure guilt. It was both a blessing and such a curse. What would happen from here scared her. She could come back in the best case scenario, or shut the door like before. Her heart begged for her not to again.

Guitar strings played in her head, a sense of fatigue washed over and the guilt was sidelined. Sleep came quick. There were no nightmares. Only a bright future that looked so close.

She prayed for it to be possible as she dreamed it.

Another did the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh.. hi again. Y'all left really sweet comments when I woke up and I kept getting notifs throughout the day so.. I wrote a twofer. I think it'll end here, but I mean again if y'all want me to continue I can try and cook up something. It may not be near as long as these chapters are but again who knows. 
> 
> Ultimately, thanks for the support :) you guys are really sweet.

A nudge to her leg woke her with a start.

Ellie’s back ached, and she grunted as she straightened out. Falling asleep on the stairs sitting against the wall wasn’t the worst place she’s slept, but it was ranked up there now. Her lips were cracked and dry, the inside of her cheeks raw. She grinded her teeth, she thought as she massage her jaw and stretched it. It was a bad habit, caused by stress she had read. No fuckin’ surprise there.

Looking up, Robin looked at her with a soft smile and offered a hand.

Though getting on in age, she smaller than Ellie, she was anything but weak. The woman could lift 70 pound crates with no issue, albeit cursing profusely afterwards about her back. Ellie liked her after Jesse brought her over for dinner after patrol, as she let Jesse off without much hassle after an accident. Joel would’ve kicked her ass for letting herself get lost on the trails, Robin just remarked, “More incentive to remember them.” She patted his cheek, and that was that.

Ellie took the hand, hoisting herself up next to her.

“I’m sure the guest bedroom’s bed would’ve been more comfortable than this,” Robin spoke soft, hints of the sunrise peering over the mountains bringing light to her face.

“I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

“You’ve got a heart of gold,” she shook her head and moved down the steps, “C’mon, I got errands to run and she’s still out cold.”

“I’d rather wait.”

“Not a debate. Let’s go.”

Some part of her wanted to snap at her for demand, but a rumble from her stomach convinced her otherwise. She suspected food to be part of the errands, and she hadn’t eaten for awhile now. Not since the night before she arrived. The idea of her appetite coming back now, of all times, was oddly hopefully. The angry subsided, her lips drew a small smile, “Yes ma’am.”

“What? No quip?”

“Nah,” she lifted her pack, slinging it around her shoulder as she joined Robin, “not worth the breath.”

“Sure...”

The two of them started towards the center of town, no conversation rosebetween them as they walked. It was by no means an uncomfortable silence, but rather a comfortable one. Guitar strings played in her head, notes to a familiar song came on. Her fingers tapped her side, making do without the missing two, as they progressed. Learning to play guitar with opposite hands was going to prove a challenge, her heart had told her so when she had to skip three notes. Leaving his guitar back on the ranch was probably a mistake, Ellie knew, but right now it made the most sense.

Leaving it there with most of her stuff too… it would be okay for now. No one was out near that way anyway. It would be there waiting for however long. The guitar was different though. It was like Joel himself in that instrument. She didn’t want to let him go… but… there’s always a fucking but. But, she needed to do it. Leaving it there, showing up without it in front of Dina, maybe it sent the message.

Ellie was done, she had forgiven Joel, in some sense, and knew she was wrong. Words can only mean so much in the middle of the night compared to actions.

“I have to stop by the blacksmith’s, I’m nailing in a shelf so give me a second,” Robin pulled her from her thoughts.

Ellie gave her a nod as she went to lean against one of the wooden posts. A thought occurred a moment.

That was the longest she had thought about the guitar, or him, anything from that time without a nightmare.

She looked to the center of town, seeing people mill about with others or alone. Two guys with packs, both carrying a sniper rifle jogged past giving her a wave. Ellie returned the gesture halfheartedly, still comprehending the idea that perhaps she could get through a day without Seattle on her mind anymore. Of course, the first time I see her in weeks and all of it is just… paused.

Joel was right, as per fucking usual, she was in love. Damn it, she was so in fucking love.

Robin returned moments later, carrying a small cardboard box in had and a baggy in the other, offering the latter to Ellie.

“Burrito?”

Ellie took it gladly, “thank you.”

“Yep, c’mon. Now it’s time for the no bullshit reason I dragged up out.”

Fuck.

“Don’t make that face,” she added before walking ahead of her.

Ellie ate as she was led away from town and to a playground, the same one before she left with Dina on patrol. Just before the weed den. Before the kiss. Before Joel-

A sigh escaped her, releasing tension in her shoulders- before Joel died.

…

No guitar strings played in her head.

“Sit,” Robin gestured to the bench, she took one end and waited.

Ellie crumpled the wrapper for the burrito in one hand and shoved it her pocket, sitting as instructed.

Anxiety bubbled in her stomach, suddenly the food she had just eaten felt like it was going to do a reversal. Dina must’ve said something after she went back inside. It must’ve not been good if it meant Robin had to talk to her and give her a fucking burrito to make her feel better. Did she move on? Did she tell her to tell Ellie to just stay away? The memories of Seattle could be just so painful for her, and seeing Ellie brought them back.. not to mention the fact that Ellie had left her. Again.

It was the theatre all over again in her head, how Abby found her. The fucking map. Bashing Dina into the ground.. fuck. No. Did she leave something at the farm that could someone here? A strum, a beat, and a chord played.. Joel-

Robin looked over her, a scoff escaping her, “Breath hon, it’s not bad.”

She snapped from her thoughts, so much for being better, she thought bitterly.

A moment passed before she spoke, “So, then what is it?”

“Dina didn’t expect to see you again.”

“She thought I was going to die?”

Robin shrugged, looking around the playground with a sigh, “I won’t sugarcoat it, the girl was more than convinced you were dead by the night Maria knocked on my door.”

Ellie didn’t respond, letting the silence speak for herself: please, go on.

“She was quiet for a day or so, talking mostly to J.J. There were days though: she’d get mad and go to the range or take a horse to a creek for an hour or so.,” Robin looked back to Ellie, “She told me one night that she wished that she was stronger, strong enough so she could save the ones she loved.”

Her heart sank, Robin continued, “A few nights before you arrived, she told me about the argument the two of you had before you walked out on her. After you left, she nearly packed and came after you with J.J. before breaking down.”

Silence entered the conversation for a few beats, “Before you, Ellie, Jesse did the same thing.”

“But I’m here,” Ellie entered now, tone laden with remorse that she couldn’t keep hidden if she tried, “That has to count for-“

“And that’s the part she didn’t see coming, she never could see coming. You’re here, someone she loved isn’t dead.”

Robin took Ellie’s hand, “Everyone she had loved had left, and they you walked up to her porch last night unscathed… for the most part.”

A string of a guitar played out of tune, a breath hitched in her throat.

She swore she heard Joel chuckle.

“I need to see her.”

“Hold on-“  
  
“Robin I have to, you’re not fucking stopping me.”

It wasn’t the curse that took Robin back, but the fact the Ellie had stood to say it. The look in her eye must’ve been fierce, because Robin just smiled, “Be gentle.”

Ellie ran across town. No way had there been a god that had listened. The words, the phrasing.. did she say those words to Robin? Dina. Dina did you say that to Robin? Fuck I’m so sorry please-

She had barely broken a sweat by the time she reached the front of the house. There was no hesitation when she knocked on the door, breathing heavy and running a hand through her hair. Her brain kept going a million miles an hour, asking and answering questions she couldn’t really formulate.

It kept going back to Dina and that line, that one fucking line. Please. Let it be true.

Before she could knock again, the door opened. Her hair was in a familiar bun, wearing a loose plaid button up with some jeans. J.J. was in her arms fast asleep, he murmured something as the silence between them became palpable. Dina looked at her, eyes widened, waiting for something, Ellie doing the same. Fear began to encroach on her impulse, and now it became a battle of wills in her brain. She was here, it wasn’t last night, can this work? Ask that first.

“Can-Hi. Can we talk? Please.”

“Yes.” She shifted back to let Ellie enter, but it didn’t register in her brain because she blurted the next words in the doorway.

“I won’t leave.”

Dina’s expression shifted, searching Ellie’s eyes for clarification. Please make this make sense.

“I won’t leave you anymore. I can’t leave you. I should have never left you again Dina,” tears welled up in her eyes, her voice shaky for a moment, “walking away from the farm was the stupidest thing I have ever done.”

“You-you’ve done a lot of stupid… that’s probably the highest one on the list,” Dina’s mouth twitched, almost to form a smile after she said the line.

Ellie released a tense laugh, “Fair… but Dina- please. I was so wrong. I was so, so wrong. You have ever right to be mad at me, every right to never forgive me and to move on.”

It was painful to get those words out, but it was necessary, and as a result it may have come out desperate. Ellie didn’t care at this point, Dina’s expression hadn’t changed since she started talking more. J.J. had cooed, waking up now and drew Dina’s attention away for a moment. Worry crept into her thoughts, make this faster, quicker, maybe it’ll make more sense.

She clenched her fist and looked down to stop her shaking hands, ‘But I promise you something that I should have promised you the minute we moved in at the farm.”

Ellie looked at Dina, who held her gaze. Lifting a shaking hand over her heart, trying her hardest to communicate the sincerity in her voice, Ellie let out in a desperate tone, “I will never, ever leave you. I love you, and you won’t leave you ever again.”

Dina’s brow furrowed, her gaze drifting off a moment. This was like one of those fucking romance movies they would watch into the early mornings, where the guy frantically tried to tell the girl all his feelings. Ellie would make fun of the guy, saying how fucking stupid he had sounded. Now he was in his position, he was, as she would say, the “fucking idiot” of the situation. God. Please let this all make sense.

They stood there, in silence, for a few minutes until Dina moved back.

And shut the door.

Ellie’s eyes jumped around the closed door, her breathing had subsided to quick, quiet breaths. She didn’t know how to respond to this, this.. it was a possibility. A horrible one she should’ve seen coming but one nonetheless. Maybe she needed more time, more of a chance to comprehend with Ellie was saying. Guitar strings played in the back of her head, calming and simple chords. The first chords Joel had taught her when learning the instrument.

Ellie blinked a few times, wiping away the tears in her eyes and took a step away from the door. If this was Dina’s way of telling her to just keep away.. then she would. The thought hurt her soul, her core, and made her draw a shaky breath at the idea of it. She didn’t know where else she could really go, Jackson was a small place and Ellie could try and live like a hermit. Maybe just go back to the farm. Live there, try and-fuck.

A sob escaped her mouth, and she quickly bit her thumb so that no further sound could escape her. Another step back, her back had hit a post of the porch and she shut her eyes. Her shoulders shook and Ellie cried.

Not cried, sobbed. Ellie sobbed.

The door opened. Step, step.

Arms wrapped around her neck and Dina embraced her. Her thumb left her mouth and she opened her eyes. Dina’s face was buried in her neck, and she was crying too, J.J. wasn’t in her arms anymore, probably with Jesse’s dad. Dina just cried into her neck and shoulder, and Ellie realized that she hadn’t yet returned the embrace. She wrapped her arms around her waist and held her like she was never letting her go.

  
It was true. Ellie had made a promise, then and there on this porch. She would never leave Dina and J.J. again. She would never leave her family again. This is what matters. This is what Joel was telling her, this is what the guitar meant.

Though one family member may be gone, there is always more.

One final strum of the guitar sounded in her head, but it was hushed out by the sound of sweet nothings in Dina’s ears.

You are never alone Ellie. You have a family, and you won’t ever leave them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that one line is kinda cheesy, because parallel, but I feel like that's their relationship. 
> 
> Dina is so similar to Ellie, and that's what makes them perfect for each other. Each of them have lost so much of what they love, and the bond they have is so important because no matter what and what happens: they have each other. 
> 
> In the words of Marge Simpson: I just think they're neat.
> 
> (Song by F+tM "All this Heaven Too" reminds me of them on a side note, take a listen :))


End file.
